We’ve written to Marmite to sort out their false advertising.

Here at Stupid Stuff I Do towers, we feel it is our job to protect you, the humble consumer. That’s why we’ve written to Marmite to highlight their misleading advertising campaigns. Let’s get this sorted once and for all.

You may have seen Marmite’s advertising campaign, asking if you ‘love it’ or ‘hate it’. You can check an example out here:

Well, we feel we aren’t being given the full range of options available to us. So we let them know.

Read our letter to Marmite here (click to enlarge):

Dear Sir / Madam

I write to you today with a most concerning matter that requires your immediate attention.

Personally, I love your product. I literally can not eat enough of it. In my kitchen it sat alongside the salt and pepper shakers as it was used as frequently as those condiments themselves. Please be assured that I write to you as a long time Marmite lover seeking guidance – nothing more, nothing less.

Your advertisements suggest that either one loves or hates your product. I can attest that the former is true, and my friend Dan despises the liquid, black tub of delight that your company produces, indicating that the latter is true also. On this evidence I have merrily assumed that the entire population of our great nation is divided in to “love” and “hate”.

I would like to bring my girlfriend to your attention, for she neither loves nor hates your product. On more than one occasion, she has proclaimed to me that she, “Doesn’t mind” whether or not I put Marmite on her toast. I have even carried out an experiment whereby I used Marmite on one slice of cheesy toast, but not on the other – she didn’t notice a difference! When I pointed out to her that one piece was glazed with your dark delight and one was not, she stated, “Oh, I didn’t notice. You can’t really taste it.” You can imagine my horror! I dropped and smashed the Marmite jar I was holding – a direct result of being brainwashed by your advertising.

This brings me to the crux of my concerns. You have led millions to believe that your product is either loved or hated – and clearly this is not the case. As a long time consumer of your product, I feel I have been wildly misled.

Your advertising is misleading members of the public into believing that there are only two emotions that can be expressed towards your product, which is simply untrue. In resolution to my complaint, I ask for one or more of the following actions to have taken place:

– A full and frank public apology.

– All national advertising campaigns to stop, and amended to reflect that more emotions can be felt towards your product – I recommend, “You either love it, hate it, or feel another way about it,” or simply, “You may or may not feel some emotion towards our product.”

– Free Marmite for life. Or at least a jar to replace the one I dropped.

Further to the above, I don’t understand why ‘Squeezy Marmite’ exsists – Do people really struggle to operate a knife in this day and age? Please clarify.

Yours sincerely,

Bruno

We hope they see the funny side!

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